Friday, March 30, 2007

The relationship with my country

I am 22 years old, and in the last 6 years, I have lived in 5 countries (including my own), and travelled to 6 others. The continents I'm yet to visit are Africa, Australia and South America. For nearly 5 years, I haven't lived in my country for longer than 6 months. So the question of the relationship with my country must truly be a curious one.

Do I love India?

Do I hate India?

Do I not care either way, whether I live there or not?

Do I love India, but would like to live elsewhere?

Would I rather live in another country?

Will I return?

What do I feel about her? This grand country, older than time itself, seasoned by many saints and wise men and women, peppered by different regimes - kings and princes and princesses, who is this woman? I am miniscule in comparison to the grandeur of her history, her wisdom, and her beauty. I represent a small, tiny part of who she is - yet I am part of her, all the same. I am one of her millions of daughters, and one of thousands who chose to leave her for a while. But I believe I will be one of the few, perhaps amongst hundreds, who choose to return to her - to the womb that gave birth to me.

Yes, I am proud to be who I am; even if I am indeed only a microscopic part of her grandeur. I love my country dearly - the chaos, the noise, the colours, the joy of the people, the sadness of the people, our festivals, our celebration of life and death, our firm belief in truth and divinehood, our memories, our families, our soil and farms and villages, our children and their games, our debates and arguments, our intellectuals, our fools, our wisemen, our divinemen - all this and more, I love about India.

While I am proud, I am not always happy...India is complex, and not to be taken at face value. I am ashamed about the many evils that were committed and continue to be committed on this ancient land, by its people - The Gujarat Massacre (2,500 people were killed), the value of human life is so less - remember the ship breaking yards of Gujarat, our discrimination of muslims, our attitude towards women and relationships, the whole caste problem (and the debate of reservations), and bureaucracy at all levels of administration.

But will this deter me from returning, change my mind? Not in the least, although it reminds me that there are problems in my country - but which country does not have its share of problems? If we were all cowards and decided to stay in a safer environment, then the world will never change. And so my mind has not changed since I first left for Singapore in 2002 - I will return to India. To live and to work there.

And yes, I care dearly. I care too much - I want to make a difference, and I also want to enjoy my life - fortunately, India can afford me both. Year 2009 will see my return, when I will begin my entrepreneurial and non-profit projects - it will be a most memorable time indeed.
Image copyright: 2007 Europa Technologies, 2007 NASA

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Golden Pedestal

I'm making new discoveries in my life, every single day. Emotionally, spiritually, I'm taking baby steps. And it's taking me further along the path...

...Then one day I began to feel proud of myself - perhaps I'm special, better than others, because I understand some things better than they. Here was the trap, the loophole, and if I may say it, The Temptation. You start to walk around like you're Neo from The Matrix, about to save the mother ship from thousands of evil virus robot creatures.

In actuality, I believe, Christ was right in saying - be careful of temptation. Now let me make it clear, I'm hardly a religious person - I believe in eternal wisdom and truth more than I believe in the R word. But temptation is nothing but our own Egos, and everytime we have to make a choice, the wise choice. The choice to not act from our egos, but something much purer. And so it goes for every single human being, every cellular living breathing being and literally every atom in this universe - it is all energy, we're all the same, and we're all unified. It is not possible for us to awaken, and then sit back and relax. Everything must progress for it to be called true progress. Everything must awaken for it to be real awakening.

So the next time you begin to turn your nose up at someone who is ignorant, prejudiced, violent, abusive, remind yourself - they have to progress and they will also walk the path just as you are walking right now - send them love and encouragement and pray that the good angels be by their side always. May we all walk on the Divine path towards Eternal Grace and light. Amen!

Sunday, March 18, 2007


So many great religions and bodies of thought have stated enlightenment to be a "becoming", a "re-discovery" of the authentic self. This seems a little ironic to me. Why go through all the trouble of forgetting your true nature, and then dusting off the unwise parts of ourselves, and blooming into nirvana - why? Why should every cell in our bodies "re-awaken"? Why should every atom in the Universe ascend fully into its highest consciousness until it is enlightened...why?
Why not always be infinitely infinite? Forever "be", instead if "be-come"? Why fall asleep before awakening? Why not forever be awake?
The Kabbalah states that one reason could be attributed to the doctrine of the "Bread of Shame" which states that human beings at the time of Moses (recall the event on Mount Sinai) wanted to `earn' the benevolence of the Creator before being fully bestowed with his Lightforce. Thus we descended into darkness, and we are in the process of slowly `earning' our way to enlightenment.
Isn't this simply amazing? I don't know whether to believe in Kabbalah's theory. Whatever said and done, I know what I have to do and have some idea of how to go about it, although I do not know why I am part of this Universal game. Does anybody have any other theories?

Friday, March 09, 2007

The last piece of the puzzle

I think it was at 13, the year before the one in which The Matrix was released, when I began to question my reason for existence - in fact I felt like I was living in a little cloud of questions. What the hell am I doing on this planet, in this family, in this school...etc. etc.
Now, I am clearer (note, I didn't say "clear"!). I am here to take my time with learning the lessons I have to learn. What lessons? Lessons of understanding, awareness, love, and most importantly - trust.
The more that we learn to trust in this universe and in ourselves, the more we are aligned with our true higher self. As noted in The Matrix - we have to learn to let go of our fears and trust in our inner power. Like Neo, we are still dormant - "Wake up Neo!".
Everyday I come across new people, or resources (such as books or interenet sites), or messages in the form of popular media, which are leading me to unsolve this big puzzle which is me and my life - "Who am I, what am I here for?". As my father used to say - a man with a hammer will find nails everywhere. The hammer is my questions on existence, the nails are the answers. So go around with a hammer, and you will find more nails than you expected to find!
I am happy to take my time with my learning. I'm in no rush, awareness is slowly seeping its way into my system and I'm truly grateful for it :)
p.s. There is no last piece of the puzzle as learning is a never-ending process - the mountain of knowledge has no peak!