Some things

Poem
I must, I must, I must...
Yet, none of them feel right
None of them say to me:
I want, I want, I want!!

I know what I am wanting,
but looking at the wrong picture and sighing
Let me be with my dreams
Let me sleep here tonight,
And we will see what shall be in the morning

Perhaps I will not change
Perhaps I shall be swept away to some distant unknown land
Perhaps I shall be the same
Or perhaps, I will have a grin on my face
as I reach for the warm cookie in your hand :)

---
On dedication...

There is a difference between
creating for Source, and
creating for people.

One is like building a temple,
where you want to put in only the
most beautiful things for the
enjoyment of the Divine.

The other is where you do it
to meet the expectations of others,
and it never matches up.

Hence, dedicate this day,
your life, to the Divine, and
all will be well. All will be
magnificent. All will be
beautiful!

God Bless.
p.s. when I say "Divine" I mean...
That beautiful creative force that flows through you, when you feel "in the zone", when you feel happy doing what you are doing, Nature, God, Insane Orgasmic Bliss, Grace, Glory, Allah, whatever moves you, Joy!!!, perfection...you get it :)

SOA (State of Affairs) part 2

So we're here now. In the spanking new house, and I really love it here. My mother for some reason has upped her nagging quotient, and I'm desperately trying to stay under the radar. As if that is going to work; I cannot hide out in my room forever. Pups are doing well, I've taken full charge of their feeding, care-taking, love-giving, everything. I like doing that anyway, I worry less and less about their jealousy and all that, now if only I can keep these two from climbing me and licking and kissing and scratching me...Rusky (so the older one now has a name) tickled me by climbing up my back, can you believe it?! Gotta love em.

So I'm bearing my soul out to the whole world, and this blog still has zero readers/followers, how is this possible?! No clue. Anyway, why I do this I cannot imagine. Some part of me desperately wants to be seen and noticed - how lame of me, yet how completely human and honest. So I find nothing wrong with this. The day somebody actually posts a "comment", may be then I will think about pulling these posts down, hehe. Until then, naked-blog-running-loose-on-the-internet does not bother me so much.

What else, my room now has a very warm and cosy reading corner, complete with beautiful lavendar incense holders and all that. I feel privileged. Really. Not even all the money in the world can give me as much happiness as gently putting in all those precious books I've collected over the years into their respective shelves. So I have: 1) a new copy of The Prophet (because the old one got pissed on by my ex-kittens, which I've now replaced, complete with old underlinings and scribbles, because I thought I might have put in something golden), 2) Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather, 3) Love and Marriage by Bill Cosby, 3) Adrian Mole from Minor to Major (hilarious, I totally recommend this), 4) The Catcher in the Rye (don't judge me), 5) A Streetcar named Desire, 6) Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, 7) Siddhartha Hermann Hesse, 8) Richard Bach (Illusions and Jonathon Living..), 9) The Little Prince by Antoine (I have it in English, don't ask me why), 10) Stand Still Like the Hummingbird by Henry Miller (simply awesome), and many, many lovable others. I've read many of these books twice.

I now spend most of my time in this corner, along with my laptop, my beloved books (I have some "love stories" stashed away in this hide out as well, hehe), drawing notebook, sketch pens (I'm doing a colour study, and I've gotten as far as discovering the colour palette of Nice!)..how can a girl move her ass out of here when she's this settled?!! Who needs men, yawnn...

So it's 1:14 in the mornin, and me thinks its time to hit the cotton (who knows what they put in there anyway), but I don't feel ready for bed. These days my routine is partially liked by me, and partially disliked by both me and the rents: start day at 12 pm (I don't like this either btw, if I had it my way, I'd make the sun wake up a bit later, and I'd be just in time for beautiful dawn), drag on till night 10 pm when I become most active, and then suddenly I hit fifth gear which goes on till about 2 am. My favourite times of the day: dawn (wish I was up for it) and 4 pm. There is something magical about 4 pm, and I still can't put my whole finger on it. Its the colour of the sky at this time mostly that makes it likable, and the way the sun streams in through the windows.

Alrighty yall, all you ghost readers out there. Leave a comment to let me know what you think.

Love,
Divs

State of affairs

So yeahrrr...this post is just random ramblings really. Nothing great and mind-blowingly philosophical, none of that. Just random stupid stuff.

Ok, we're shifting house now, and the amount of small swallowable (wrong spelling?!) parts that we have just amazes me. How is it possible that four members of the family (plus or minus about 2-5 at any one moment) managed to collect so much of random shit over a period of 10 years?! honestly!!! its such a headache to sort out all the random papers, certificates, random random stupid things..ridiculous. I know one thing for sure, I build a house and I pretty much stay there. Put. That's it. No shifting wifting for me, and no accumulating random crap for me either. No sensible impulsive top of mind purchases any more. And if my kids want to buy random stupid plastic parts, I will make them degradable replicas out of wood of the same things. No kidding.

Ok so yeah, can you actually believe that romantic crazy me, who always was interested in a relationship, dreamed about the ideal "soulmate" for so often has finally stopped thinking about that?! I call this a victory, and honestly I would drink to that. If only I had 10 or so girlfriends (the gang I've always dreamed about but never had - cause I've always really had just one or two special, close friends, and they may be a guy or gay, doesn't matter), I would totally do this (drink to my victory I mean). I would drink to my getting over the endless worrying or fantasizing about this ideal guy. Ok.

Then. My puppies. I'm a little worried about them. I've already mothered so many people in my life (including my ex) that I feel like I have so much mothering experience that I don't even feel the need to have kids anymore. Really. One is a small crazy cute puggy looking thing, and the other is awesomeness incarnate. And awesomeness incarnate (cause we don't have a name yet)which is bigger (and older) is jealous of the smaller one. I thought - ok, the small one looks puggy and not more "attractive" (in the conventional sense) and was a little weaker so I paid more attention to it, and now the older one is suffering from self-esteem problems. Kids. What can you do. You try one parenting technique and then you skew them up forever. Shit. I hope they will turn out alright. Otherwise I will suffer from mother's guilt forever!!

So what else, what else. My face...strage canvas this. I've tried all kinds of things to bring it to that state of perfect complexion (not colour, I mean like smooth and nice, I don't know if there's any word for this), but it always beats me somehow. I've got combination skin, so products for oily skin make parts of my face too dry, and products that are for matte skin really stimulate my sebaceous glands. So yurghhh...its overall nice really, not complaining too much, but every now and then, I'm envious of good-skinned people. I am also envious of women with long legs, I hate them, but only a little bit. Other than that, I'm a girl who is pretty comfortable in her own body. Which I think is a gift in the times we live in. We live in times where our standards of beauty are pretty much fucked up (ok I don't want to really talk further about this).

My parents. I'm trying several childing techniques to be a better child, some are working, so that's good. I live with them, which makes it very weird for me because this is the time when I have to really be independent and really strike out on my own in the world, and at a time like this, there are bound to me many arguments, because I want somethings done my way, and they want it another way, and I totally understand, but I feel we'd all show a lot more love and respect to each other if I was doing my own thing and living by myself. What to do. I've told them that I'm going to live on the roof in my new house. They laughed. But I'm doing this partly for their sanity, and partly for mine. See how thoughtful I am.

So pups, new house, new living arrangement, hopefully better and better skin, a more comfortable me. I'm aging pretty gracefully I'd say. Loving life and its amazing contrasts. What can I say, I'm a lucky girl.

Cheers all.

The hidden connections

I am becoming better in handling my own emotions in the aftermath of a tough event. What used to take me a very long time to get over, is now becoming easier to sail above. Not only do I now have more strength in times of turbulence, but with time I begin to see hidden connections that were not obvious to me before, when I was in the thick of things. The Abraham-Hicks teachings have provided me a lot of strength and courage, and more importantly hope, for a new day and more enjoyable life moments. There is wisdom in all difficulties and contrasts; everything truly happens for a reason, if we only care to look.

After an event passes me by, it is as if a veil of ignorance (which did not allow me to see these connections before) is lifted and I begin to see `the why' of things. There are so many people in the world who are in pain because they are unable to isolate themselves from their grief and do not rise up and make "the connections" - if they were able to see them and exercise understanding and compassion both with themselves and others, so much suffering could be avoided and life would be more in alignment with Source which is truly about joy and energy and creativity. I hope every body can stretch themselves and make the leap for the joy that is always so inherent in every moment of this life on earth!

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day"
- Johnny Nash

This modern life

Our world is filled with ego-fuelled relics. Our world is full of ugly, grey/brown buildings. Our world is filled with traffic and smoke and people. Our world is polluted. Our world is toxic. Where are the birds and the animals?? I don´t see any anymore...Where have they all gone? I´m no longer entertained by this modern life. I am no longer entertained by glass covered architecture. I no longer see stability in our social structures. Everything is questionable. I am no longer entertained by television or movies. I am no longer entertained by discos or drinking. I am no longer entertained by populistic politics. I am no longer entertained by romance, the modern movie version of it. I am no longer entertained by fiction or reality. I am no longer entertained by the symbols that keep our society together..or apart.
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I seek freedom. I thirst for flight. I seek nature and the sounds of birds and animals in the morning. I seek the fulfillment of dreams. I wish for energy from nature. I wish to build my own home with my own blood and sweat. I wish to till my own farm and reap the fruits of my harvest. I wish to be exposed to the vagaries of nature, and learn some true lessons of life. I wish to live like the red indian or the shaman, who only takes his lessons from the stillness he experiences within and outside. I am sick of our institutions, I am sick of the people and the games they play to win little favours. I wish to end this game to survive. Nature, my guru, my master. I wish to be united with thee.

The face of Pradeep is everywhere

When I was interning at Auroville, the Mitra guest house where I stayed at had a guy named Raj* who would rent cycles, bikes and mopeds to the guests staying there, and his assistant/mechanic named Pradeep*. Pradeep is probably not more than 18 years old - dark, extremely thin, and always in a pair of dirty trousers and a hand-me-down t-shirt. Uneducated and innocent, he was always extremely faithful and dedicated to Raj as well as Mitra's warden, Sita* - doing little chores around the guest house whenever he was asked. He was quite polite to all the guests at Mitra, and even grew attached to anyone who showed a little affection towards him.
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When you are in India, you become used to a host of people looking after you - servants, cooks, drivers, watchmen, and the odd kid who runs to the grocery store for you at the drop of a hat. We take this "servant" culture for granted. It was a hand-me down from the Brits who began the `aaya' system in India. Why haven't we learnt to let go of it and take care of our own chores? Labour is extremely cheap in India, and there are people who are willing to take little pay for such physically demanding work.
b
I wasn't able to be as friendly to Pradeep initially - even being a little wary of this boy - having been unconsciously conditioned to be wary of people from "lower classes". Then a German friend of mine asked - "why don't you teach him English in your spare time? the poor thing has probably never been to school, and it might do him some good?!". That suddenly changed everything for me. Bhaskar always called me `akka' (older sister) - may be I could be a real akka for him and take him under my wing to teach him a thing or two? I was actually capable of changing this boy's world, even if it only temporarily?
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How many such Pradeeps exist in India?! Their backs toiling at an age when they should be playing with children of their own age and studying in school. Illiterate, abandoned, bastard children to call no one their own?! Why can't these children be considered our own children and taken care of in the right way? Why are they allowed to rot on the streets?! They could be subject to the worst treatment - verbal, physical, sexual abuse, child labour - this unfair life is something they were unwittingly born into for no faults of their own. They are in need of a word beginning with j and ending with an e: JUSTICE.
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* Names changed to protect identity

Become The Sun

The self contains the all illuminating brilliance of The Sun. We have but to look within to find all the glory, all the bliss that we seek every second of our being. This is our search. Our search for completion, for the feeling of ultimate fulfillment; ultimate happiness and salvation. And our answer lies closer than the breath we take.

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Human beings constantly seek this fulfillment outside of themselves. In television, in a career, in a relationship, in the ultimate makeover, in husbands and mistresses, in Oprah, in Islam, in the Orthodox Christian Church, in Barrack Obama, in government, in misery, in children, in friends...the list is endless. Here is a quote of Aldous Huxley's: "One of the many reasons for the bewildering and tragic character of human existence is the fact that social organization is at once necessary and fatal. Men are forever creating such organizations for their own convenience and forever finding themselves the victims of their home-made monsters."
b
I don't intend to offend anyone's sincere quest for the truth here, but would merely like to quote once again a saying in Buddhism for those of you who still didn't get it: "if you see the Buddha, kill him!!!". What this merely means is that we cannot grow attached to anything in particular, however noble the path may be, because at a certain point we begin to identify more with this attachment than with the actual truth which resides within our being. As long as we use the tools of the outside world only as just that - tools to make us more aware of our inner truth - we are not in danger of losing our selves to them.
b
Desirelessness does not necessarily mean less sensitivity to the outside world, but rather, more of it. The truth unites every being in the universe, and it is impossible to remain unaffected by the miseries of the world we live in. Once we have discovered the inner truth, we begin to see it every where around us (even if it lies hidden beneath several layers!). And the more we begin to see it every where, the more we begin to be the drivers of positive change in the world we reside in. Now, quoting from Huxley's "Doors of Perception" essay:
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Istigkeit - wasn't that the word Meister Eckhart liked to use? "Is-ness." The Being of Platonic philosophy - except that Plato seems to have made the enormous, the grotesque mistake of separating Being from becoming and identifying it with the mathematical abstraction of the Idea. He could never, poor fellow, have seen a bunch of flowers shining with their own inner light and all but quivering under the pressure of the significance with which they were charged; could never have perceived that what rose and iris and carnation so intensely signified was nothing more, and nothing less, than what they were - a transience that was yet eternal life, a perpetual perishing that was at the same time pure Being, a bundle of minute, unique particulars in which, by some unspeakable and yet self-evident paradox, was to be seen the divine source of all existence.
b
The cultivation of truth - for our soul is like a farm that needs to be tended to regularly - can begin with living a more authentic life. The soul always flows in the right direction - see where it takes you - often the best plans are the higher Divine plans that our conditioned brains can sometimes never even conceive of. In Buddhism, sitting meditation is often said to be the most effective way to discover the inner truth - Vipassana is an excellent technique recommended by the wise. In Hinduism, a treasure trove of techniques are said to exist - anything from Sanskrit texts/mantras to yoga, or even the Bhakti (devotional) or Jnana margas (path of wisdom). Reading the Zohar (Kabbalah) or following the Sufi way (by expressing love for the Divine), are all said to be (tried and tested) paths to the great Truth which often lay hidden from undeserving eyes.
b
My friend, seek not to collect moons, which are mere reflectors of light - Seek to become the one and only Sun which radiates luminosity in every direction. The path may not be completely facile, but the reward is eternal light, and with it, eternal fulfillment.

A poem (V Day special)

How can I express the depth
I find in our eyes
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How can I express the meaning
in our distance
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How can I express the bliss
in our convergence
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How can I express
fully
everything I know
about every moment
when a circle comes into being

Image courtesy: www.3d-screensaver-downloads.com/

A confused Country and a conditioned Soul; the state of affairs in India today

India has been at the helm of spiritual discovery for over five thousand years, long before many civilisations were yet to be born. And yet, today, the average Indian is not aware of even a single verse of The Upanisads. He/She is so occupied with the daily toil and trouble, and is blissfully unaware of the diamonds that lie beneath the physical surface of this great country. Our economists and policy makers are the most confused lot - unaware as to how they would be able to transform this heaving giant - leaking at her sides from unfixed sewers and the beads of sweat from the brows of labouring children. What kind of a curse is this, you may ask, that has put an entire country under a spell of ignorance?

All we are left with is the legacy of the old, the symbols of a glorious past - `Om's freely adorn our houses and tikas adorn our foreheads (said to be the doors of illumination), beautiful sacred geometric patterns decorate our courtyards, and Krsna is found to make his appearance more popularly on saris and as home furnishings than in the Bhagavad Gita. Daily existence is fueled by the need to survive, based on systems that barely coordinate. A typical life looks like this: baby -> gruelling school -> wasted college -> pointless I.T. job -> marriage and kids -> diabetes or high cholesterol related disease -> pointless death -> cycle continues through progeny. What makes the average Indian so bloody ignorant??!
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My appearance in this country is not any less of a mystery, and makes for a fascinating story. A country liberated from a western army is now in the throngs of hollywood films and is draped in denim fabric rather than khadi - our education has gone beyond `Convent' to the all exclusive `English-medium', as long as it delivers the necessary results. I myself was educated in an all English-speaking school. I would have to thank the stars that at least in my school we did not have a rule against speaking in our native language of Tamil (as some other schools did). Tamil is one of the oldest languages in the world, and is beginning to die in the hands of the present young generation, in the very state/province it first originated in. Middle and upper class Tamilians these days cannot talk Tamil without sprinkling a few English words in between!!
b
I grew up on a steady diet of classical English literature and American poetry at school, and Archie comics, Nancy Drews, Enid Blytons, and (later) Hollywood movies and music from the Backstreet Boys, at home. Here was a girl, who had heard of the bravery of our `freedom fighters' more like a fantasy tale...patriotism was put into our heads more like an obligation, than as an understanding, waiting for the time when a generation grows older and does not find the need for it any longer (today Gandhi makes his appearance in Indian pop culture). My idealism stems more from literature I read written by American poets with liberal tendencies, than by the Indian freedom movement!
b
We now are moved by Bollywood films and cricket more than by Bhakti movement poetry. This is the same land that was once home to Sufi saints and Hindu mystics alike. So many thousands embarked on the journey of their inner soul. So many awakened on the banks of the great Ganges that is now so polluted and choked with the toxic wastes of the present civilisation.
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Our solutions lie closer to the heart than we can ever imagine. Spirituality has to be brought into the Parliaments, and talked about with an ever increasing urgency and as the need of the hour. The solution for India does not lie in the western concepts of economic development. We have to seek higher solutions. Solutions that originate from a Divine mind, a Divine soul that is this country. We cannot expect to lay more roads and extinguish poverty. We need smaller communities, education within these communities, and an education that finds its foundations in spirituality and self-enquiry rather than on useless historical facts that are forgotten right after the students exit the exam halls. Solutions lay sprinkled in our past. The gurukula system, the smaller townships that were governed on a basis of Dharma, these are the symbols we need to adopt for today.

As for the individual...we cannot stop the influx of western materialism and idealogies, but we can instil in our young minds, the greater spiritual secrets that have been opened up and laid bare in the recent centuries. When a solid foundation is in place, it is difficult to shake it, in spite of any kind of external disturbances. We have to teach our children to follow their hearts and Divine guidance, rather than listen to people who talk from their selfish egos. We have to cultivate in them an independent attitude and the thirst for truth, rather than a conformist attitude and dependency on conventional thinking. This is the solution for the `modern' Indian society and today's `modern' Indian individual. Old is indeed Gold, but can be flexed to be adapted to provide solutions for the New.

Me, my path

I feel so far away from unity consciousness. One of the marks of an enlightened being is to feel one with the Universe, and feel love and compassion for every one and every thing. I think I've only covered about 10 steps on this ladder.

However, altruism no longer feels like an alien concept to me. I really have begun to feel real responsibility for a lot of issues in this world - poverty and ignorance being a huge one, beginning with my own country.

Money still seems to pose a bit of a challenge for me - me being afraid as to how I would survive in this world, if I do not have the proper devices to earn money.

I find much comfort in anonymity, often afraid to approach people and to ask them even for small favours. I do not know why I am this way. I have to admit that I am more introverted than extroverted, although when the situation calls for it, I can be very extroverted. So I swing between extremes sometimes. I can be extremely melancholic - but people can make me very happy. I wonder why am I this way?

In any case, I at least have a 1 year plan as to what I want to do with my life, beginning with travelling and then teaching - clearly not money-making ventures...but let us see what surprises this Universe could bring us!

Call to build a new world

We are on the brink of change. Our old ways, our old habits, the old controlling forces, have to make way for new ways, new habits and the Divine Force. It is time for us to leave behind the rat race, and build a world which is based not on money or individual gain, but on love and the Divine Will.

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Look around you; observe the life you live. What do we see? It is a vicious cycle of production and consumption. The whole life seems to have been spent standing in one long queue. After you are born, you are placed in a sterile, plastic environment, given all the shots you require, given your social security number and then dropped onto the conveyer belt of hell - you will then be processed in the education machine to become a good worker, a good father, a good so-and-so. You pay all your taxes, you pay the interest on your credit card (laying down, without a word of protest), you allow your hard-earned salary to be dropped into a bank account, and all the necessary deductions are made automatically. You then proceed to walk into a huge "H & M" to pay for garbage boring clothes just to fit into the already conformist society. There is not even a pigeon hole of space for creativity. You follow store policy, you follow bank policy, you follow the government policy. H&M then pays your salary. You earn money for them (these corporate fat cats), and then forced to pay money for their own garbage. Everything is sub-standard and boring, and you accept it. Where is the room for individual creativity?! Even the government supports this kind of sub-standard living - as long as you pay the taxes, you are fine. Why don't you ever hear any interesting government policies?! Why doesn't your government support disabled children or old age homes?! Why are they more interested in supporting the industrialists?! They give you the standard excuse - the industrialists are the ones giving the jobs - but it is also the industrialists who set the rules and steal your freedom. It is the same industrialists who gobble up the small businesses and do not allow for creativity.

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99.98% of the society is composed of conformists. 0.01% are the controllers, and the remaining 0.01% are the rebels. The rebels of course are the so-called "greenies" and "activists" who are really just ranting and raving about nothing really. As long as the rest of society is conformist and is happy to have their sub-standard lives, then the rebels will continue to lose, and all that they are fighting for will just sound like noise. Once you wake up, once you decide to live life by different rules, that is the day that the corporate fat cats and the government will give you the hardest time ever. You will have to come face to face with an ugly system that is based on all the old laws - they will not want the change because they want to continue to survive - and you will have to fight them to make way for the change. It will be a hard and tough struggle, but in the end, you will have at least made the way for the new world. The old powers will realise that people no longer want to just merely survive - they want to live and breathe good air, they want creative products and generous sharing of knowledge and resources. No one wants to hold onto their things any more and are willing to live for a united world, and not for their individual selfish egos.

b

The greenies and rebels will not be alone. Join them in their fight. Choose decisively - what is most important to you?! What is most important to this world, not just for your stomach, but for the whole world? Fight on this side. Don't be a conformist any longer. It is time to wake up and smell the polluted air, and time to make a change.

b

There is a solution to disarm the existing economy. It is a guerrilla strategy. Do not try to grab their dirty money. Instead, don't have any utility for that money. Create a parallel economy. Support green businesses, support smaller, more creative businesses, support systems which are based on sharing and not surviving. Take away the control and power from the large powers that be, and give it to the smaller, more angelic forces. By doing this, you will be shifting the power to more Divine hands. Slowly, we can disarm our `enemies', and transform this world from the bottom up. Every drop in the ocean counts, and no effort is a futile effort. What is more important is that you realise it is time for a change, and live life differently from henceforth. Here is a good way to begin: click on the website below and calculate your personal ecological footprint; then look at the Take Action calculator, and see how you can make green lifestyle changes -

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http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp

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Next. Join a sustainable community. I truly do believe that sustainable communities can pave the way to a new world. When you keep things smaller, you tend not to destroy and deplete more of the planet's resources. You will not be relying on ugly large industries for unsustainable things such as plastics, and unsustainable sources of energy. You will be supporting your own local farm produce, and the local economy (small and medium sized enterprises). Take a look at the following communities (there are more, but these are the only ones I am aware of):

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www.auroville.org

www.findhorn.org

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If you haven't noticed already, but many of these sustainable communities and "eco-villages" have a spiritual foundation. This is part of the new universe that we have to build - the spiritual is not some how alienated from the real. Spiritual life and real life are intertwined and cannot exist without one another. It is only when one does not have a spiritual existence, that one feels depressed and devoid of any life. All of the health problems - both physical and psychological, can be traced back to the old industrial way of living - which does not have any roots in the spiritual at all. When you lead a more conscious existence, aware of the Divine Energy which every single cell and atom is vibrating with, it is then that you begin to lead a healthier life as well. Changing our old habits is the hardest thing. I find this true even with myself. I am seriously contemplating vegetarianism, and making lifestyle changes - even I possess a poverty consciousness which I have to change if I have to live in an economy that is based on sharing and generosity and working for what we enjoy. But, we have to begin now. 2012 is not far off.
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Come, let us build a new world.

Unleash the God Within

The human being is condensed matter. It’s source is light, and to light it must return.

Light -> Matter (physical body) -> Light

Vallalaar got the formula right (“jyothi ul jyothi ul jyothi”) – but his means to achieve the transformation to pure light was not successful.

The number 6 is very significant. While most people consider the number 7 to be important, what is important is that there are 3 above, 3 below, and the one in the middle which helps to anchor the 6. Thus, we can form the vajra within us. The central portion is the heart chakra, the 3 above are represented by the upper part, and the 3 below are represented by the lower part. While most people give great significance to the higher chakras, believing that it is our (slow) rise to the highest chakra from the lowest chakra which is important – I am completely against this theory.

I believe the heart chakra to be the most important chakra. We can compare this to the Bhakti chapters of the Bhagavad Gita which anchor the 2 other margas (paths) which occur at the beginning and the end of the Gita.

The seven "heavens" are within the human. Thus we have three gradatory heavens that lie above us, and three gradatory hells that lie below us, transformational/transitional heavens that lie to the right, and transformational/transitional heavens to the left. This is how we form the four pronged vajra, with us at the centre…

Once you understand that the four pronged vajra is a dynamic figure, and not a static one, you find that you form a circuit – it is a wheel which spins.

The secret is to realise this; that the entire Cosmos lies within us (when you multiply to infinity, you realise the cosmos within). We create the universe we live in – and everything that lies within it. If you had all the gods within you – the creative aspect of Brahma, the preserving aspect of Vishnu, the destructive aspect of Shiva, and so on, then you have all the power of the gods bestowed upon you. The fragile human being is now converted to the power of the very Brahman himself. The realization of this truth, the realization of the power of the gods within us, is our climb towards ultimate spiritual realization. We must build all these aspects of our consciousness within us, step by step.

We also have the power of demons within us. However, the avatar of the human being, is the central avatar – the avatar of the heart. He has to make great realizations on the level of the heart chakra. His ascent to the heavens, is his preparation to make his next avatar as a god. Thus, we have to rise above us, as we have already realized the demons within us. However, when the final ascent is made, our transformation becomes complete to include all aspects within us. If we are indeed all of the creative manifestation, we also include the demonic powers – we realise the whole of creation within us, and we calmly accept it all. We are the eternal Purusha in all his splendour – the vishwa-roopam.

As Buddha is usually depicted – with eyes neither wide open, nor completely closed – neither completely closed to the creative manifestation, nor completely embroiled and caught up in the manifestation – he is the calm seer, not taking part in it, but not outside of it – he views all with wisdom and acceptance.
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Sources (images and some content):
http://www.pastlifetherapy.org/article.html

http://image03.webshots.com/

http://what-buddha-said.net/Pics/

www.khandro.net/images/

The Frail Human

I have reached the point, at the very abyss, the point where all points meet and collide, when I can finally draw up my sleeves and declare my conclusions.

The human being is the most confused being I have known in my 23 years of existence on this planet (if the assumption is that I indeed exist on a terrestrial plane and within the framework of a linear time scale). “It” is never consistent – and is slave to everything and nothing at the same time (I have used the neuter gender here in order to avoid all references to any sort of superficial aspects that differentiate one from another). It is slave to its mental, physical, psychological, spiritual being; and is master of them all, for it is never consistent to any one facet of itself. It is this very fact that drives one another crazy – the lack in consistency in behaviour, thought, action and being. It is this very nature that also occupies the majority of space in their lives and gives it its unique colours.

It is these multi factors which each choose to rear their heads at the most unexpected of times, and which contribute to the often unpredictable circumstances which human beings find themselves in. I must also state, here, that it is this reason why it is said that human beings choose their own destiny. The majority of the circumstances in their lives were of their own choosing – their joys and worries, their hopes and tragedies, almost all of them have been derived from their own nature – and from the collision course that they inevitably subject themselves to, when they decide to take up this journey. How brave this creature is – to take up this arduous journey? In spite of every type of circumstance, it continues to exist and continues to be. I admire the courage of the human being.

Like artists, we all pick up our brushes at the beginning of each life time, and use different colours to paint different hues. The canvas cannot be created unless there are hues to play with. Some may paint in mono colour, rather unusual, but most choose to paint anyway. Some choose to live a rather passive life, while others are filled with deranged emotions, and others choose to be so involved in one activity that they are happy to pursue it for the rest of their lives and believe it to be their sole redemption.

In truth, every thing is completely useless. Whatever actions are undertaken in this lifetime are more of a time pass than anything else. Karma seems more like a threat than truth. In all eventuality, every being will die; and even if it is reborn, it will die again! Death is the goal of life, and life is the goal of death.

This is why I find such great utility in laughter. When you laugh, you are not doing anything useful. It keeps you happy and light. It does not help you assume such grand conclusions that you are the sole saviour of this world. When you laugh, you have no responsibility, no worry, no anxiety, no unhappiness. When you laugh, you forget your ego, your existence, and all you are aware of is the pleasant feeling running through you.

Keeping in mind the nature of the human being – perhaps it is with this knowledge that we can also forgive. Every one is inconsistent in their behaviour, and every one is in the learning process. Even after much learning, it is still possible that they commit mistakes. So, we learn to be compassionate. Like a child who makes mistakes in its homework, similarly, were we God, were we the creator of this frail being, we can forgive, for it is our own creation – our own peculiar creation – like the puppy that falls about and breaks everything while it is young – and we forgive easily. Here I quote Bob Marley – “every man was a baby once”. And so forgive, forget, laugh it off, and accept your own inconsistencies, as you would others’ and live life with a song in your heart.

23

The number 23 is everywhere eh?! Well it was there yesterday too. So here is a post to commomerate the supreme day of October the 3rd.

Life is getting simpler. I am beginning to realise that the Truth is not complicated. It is simple, easy to access and right here in the present moment. All our efforts are only aligned to reveal this simple Truth unto ourselves...but once it is tasted, there is no going back.

I am happy. I am tasting true happiness, after so many years. There is not much more I can say other than Thank You. Gratitude and enjoyment of the present moment, this is all we can, we must, and we need to do effectively.

I awake and I rise!

Aham Brahmasmi

Om Shanti Om

What the fuck is Brahman?

Pardon the language, but it was for effect. Yes, truly, "what the fuck is Brahman"?!

Brahman is you, Brahman is me.
Brahman is here, Brahman is naught.
Brahman out, Brahman in.
Break the seed, in between he is.
Brahman is the seed, the space in between and in between that.
Brahman littly, Brahman vastly.
Brahman insane and chaos
Brahman the vast understanding silence.
Brahman idiot
Brahman ignorant
Brahman Wise
Brahman serious
Brahman play
Brahman nothingness, Brahman everythingness.
Brahman All, Brahman Nall.
Brahman inhale, Brahman exhale.
Brahman seer, Brahman seen, Brahman sees the seer.
Aham Brahmasmi

Wisdom of the Upanisads

I feel gifted to be at Auroville, simply because I have a chance to access the wisdom of the Upanisads at the Savitri Bhavan every Wednesday. Finally, I am gaining a clearer understanding about existence, the reason for existence and our relationship to "God".

The Isha Upanisad is one of the most startling and most direct of all Upanisads in terms of the understanding of the Universe and our evolutionary rise towards Ultimate consciousness.

All that is, is for the habitation of the Lord (first line of the Isha). The Kingdom of God is within you and all about you.

Sri Aurobindo talks about two "descents" that resulted in all of creation. The Kabbalah has a very similar doctrine with regards to our fall into ignorance and our slow rise upwards. There is a subtle connection. In the Kabbalah, man was already in existence (frolicking in the garden of Eden) after which he fell from Grace. According to Sri Aurobindo, the descent was what brought the whole of creation into being - there was the Word, and then were the [first descent] and the [second descent] and all came into being.

The Vedas and the Upanisads are not meant just for a mere philosophical understanding of Creation, but it is much deeper than that - they are actually a platform, a literal "bridge" into greater understanding. They literally take you that much closer to the Lord as you read and understand them. The Sanskrit alphabet carries with it greater vibrations - it is, as it was put by one Sanskrit textbook, the "language of the Gods". It is an experiential understanding, more than an intellectual understanding. I say so, because I feel it myself.

My very first post in the blog - "My theory of Unified Consciousness", I believe contains perhaps at least a subtle form of the Truth as present in the Upanisads, if not an accurate picture.

All is Brahman. All is for the enjoyment of the Brahman. Surrender to the Divine Will. Enjoy creation. Aham Brahmasmi - "I am Brahman".

Unity Consciousness

If you are not already aware of the concept of "memes", do check out this video to know more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzGjEkp772s&mode=user&search
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In one of my posts last year, I spoke about human beings being the only living creatures on Earth capable of conscious thinking. Now I will contradict myself in saying that what differentiates us from other living species is not conscious thinking, but our memes. We all believe in different memes - memes of religion, family, growth, the future, politics, and so on. These are the things that both separate us, and unite us ("us" as in us, the homo sapiens). We are not truly conscious just because we hold a certain ideology, or follow a certain religious thought - we are merely infected by a "meme". True conscious thinking does not separate us from other beings, but unites us. Every thought/belief/feeling can move us that much further from another being. Just because a person belives his Allah is higher than your Ram, does not mean he is made of different stuff from you - the same cells, the same living matter gives him his breath, as it gives you yours. We need to throw away our memes - they are mostly useless unless they enable us to share more, give more of ourselves to other beings. We must subscribe to a much higher sensation than our memes which are mere products of our own consciousness emanating from this dimension/planetary level - our "mayic/mayan" stories (illusory thinking).
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAvNlh2Z0GI&mode=user&search
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We must be aware of a dangerous disease that infects many today. Something I call spiritual elitism. Spiritual elitism is the phenomenon of feeling higher up on the spiritual evolutionary scale than others. It is so easy to succumb to this disease. Some of the symptoms are the feeling of a dire need to "convert" others, looking down upon "non-believers", etc. Spiritual elitism is linked to some of the memes you hold closest to your heart - and hence you have to be the most careful with them. Had Buddha been a spiritual elitist, Angulimala would have never been transformed. We have to extend our love unconditionally, even to the murderers and sinners in our society. Nobody gets left behind!!
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It is one thing to think we are all united, it is another to feel that we are united, and yet another, to "know" that we are united. Perhaps it is this awareness which the great buddhas call enlightenment. When Aurobindo felt he saw Krishna in everyone, I believe he had reached this sense of unity.
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I recently realised what Osho was talking about when he said that two lonely souls when united cannot make the other one feel better --> loneliness + loneliness does not = fullness! When both are ready to take from the other, empty vessels aching to be filled up, how can they ever share and feel full?! This was the problem with my previous relationships. I have to give in order to receive. We (the human species) are all the same, wanting to know the same truth, we must reach out and share.
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The reason I was feeling depressed recently was that I got caught up in my own problems/my own dark thoughts/I, me, mine. This kind of ego-centric thinking only leads to more misery. It is like getting entangled in a spider's web - you go deeper into the never-ending dark tunnel. The only way out is to think in terms of compassion - reach out to other people - the more you help others come out of their traps, the less you focus on yourself. The problem of "I" then miraculously dissapears.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5cZITQDTrE&mode=user&search
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Ask yourself, what are the memes that separate you from others? If there is someone who believes in a meme contradicting your own, then your meme separates you from that person. How many degrees are you away from the person sitting next to you?
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Picture credit: Artist Monica Stewart

St Therese, the little flower

Devotion. It has been a long time since I used that word, and I finally have found the occasion to use it. I have never admired a person, living or dead, to be moved enough - never found myself a devoted fan or ardent admirer, up until recently. For the first time in my life, I can say for certain, that I am devoted to St Therese of Lisieux. To clarify things, I am not a Catholic, neither am I a christian of any other denomination. My love for her is simple and not religious.

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My connection to her began in the very first weeks of my arrival in Lyon. I was on a touristic round of the sights of the town - and the Cathedrale St Jean was one of my stops. This cathedral is not very inspiring - it is quite dark inside, and frankly the energy is not very uplifting. But on the right hand side, very near the main altar, is an alcove which pays homage to St Therese. A beautiful white statue of her with outstreched arms seemed to literally call out to me. A smell of flowers, her pictures, and her prayers, moved me very near to a state of spiritual bliss. I felt sweet and happy inside. Her remains are not actually kept there I believe, but there had been a passage of her relics throughout Lyon with the Cathedrale being one of the stops. No matter, but her strong loving energy seemed to radiate from that place. I could feel the love - from a person who has been dead for almost 80 years!

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This is the only explanation I can give for my devotion to her. What I feel inside my heart; I am moved by her love.

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She died at a very young age in her hometown in France, at the mere age of 24. Her faith and love towards the Divine was described as "spiritual childhood". She often talked about using simple words to talk to god - fancy prayers weren't needed if they didn't come from the heart (she disliked the rosary and was even reported to have fallen asleep during community prayers). She believed the intention was more important than the very act itself.

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"I have not the courage to force myself to seek beautiful prayers in books; not knowing which to choose I act as children do who cannot read; I say quite simply to the good God what I want to tell Him, and He always understands me."

- Story of A Soul, Chapter X

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"Prayer is, for me, an outburst from the heart; it is a simple glance darted upwards to Heaven; it is a cry of gratitude and of love in the midst of trial as in the midst of joy! In a word, it is something exalted, supernatural, which dilates the soul and unites it to God. Sometimes when I find myself, spiritually, in dryness so great that I cannot produce a single good thought, I recite very slowly a Pater or an Ave Maria; these prayers alone console me, they suffice, they nourish my soul."
- Story of A Soul, Chapter X

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"The science of loving, yes, that’s the only kind of science I want. I’d barter away everything I possess to win it"

- Story of a Soul, Ms B, Knox translation

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"The good God does not need years to accomplish His work of love in a soul; one ray from His Heart can, in an instant, make His flower bloom for eternity..."
- VI letter to her sister Celine

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Here is an interesting excerpt I found from the following webpage - http://www.littleflower.org/learn/faq.asp#1

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How did St. Therese become known as the "Little Flower"?
St. Therese loved nature, and often used the imagery of nature to explain how the Divine Presence is everywhere, and how everything is connected in God's loving care and arms. Therese saw herself as "the Little Flower of Jesus" because she was just like the simple wild flowers in forests and fields, unnoticed by the greater population, yet growing and giving glory to God. Therese did not see herself as a brilliant rose or an elegant lily, by simply as a small wild flower. This is how she understood herself before the Lord - simple and hidden, but blooming where God had planted her.

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Therese believed passionately that Jesus was delighted in his "little flower", and just as a child can be fascinated by the grandeur of a simple flower, she believed that Jesus was fascinated by her as his "little flower". Therese understood that she was just like the tiny flower in the forest, surviving and flourishing through all the seasons of the year. Because of God's grace, she knew that she was stronger than she looked. Following the Carmelite tradition, Therese saw the world as God's garden, and each person being a different kind of flower, enhancing the variety and beauty which Jesus delighted in. When various people tried to explain her powerful inspiration and her place within the Church, it always seemed to come back to one title "The Little Flower".
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In her autobiography, she beautifully explains this spirituality:

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"Jesus set before me the book of nature. I understand how all the flowers God has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not take away the perfume of the violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understand that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers. So it is in the world of souls, Jesus' garden. He has created smaller ones and those must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God's glances when He looks down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be."

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Just before her death, St Therese proclaimed that she would continue to shower roses from heaven. She believed her life on earth to be a blessing and could not imagine if heaven would be better, because she realised god in this dimension itself, and there was nothing more left for her to do, but to continue loving the Divine. This is a simple and wonderful philosophy and encourages us to love the divine energy right here and now and not wait for some sort of heaven or salvation in the future to be happy. Present moment, wonderful moment!

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If it may interest you to know more about her, you might consider reading her autobiography - "Story of a Soul". May St Therese's love and devotion continue to radiate from heaven and fill our life with blessings and hope. Hope your life will be filled with love and blessings.

On leaving the scene, and some fundamental lies (and truths) exposed

Are you familiar with stand up comedian Dave Chappelle? The guy's awesome - he's got wit like the edge of a sword. In the summer of 2005, amidst a flourishing career, and at a time when he enjoyed huge popularity, he literally left the scene - fleeing to South Africa to contemplate life and career. I completely sympathise with him...and I'll admit, that even though I'm not going through any of the career-related stress or natural pressures associated with celebritydom, I still feel the need to flee modern life. It's given me everything, and given me nothing, and now I feel the need to escape. I feel like doing a bike ride across India - just the way Guevara did with his friend across South America (all I need is a crazy idiot friend who says "fuck, let's do this"). I need time out, I need space, I need freedom, I need a breath of fresh air, I need to see myself more clearly. I'm feeling suffocated by people, suffocated by my own thoughts, suffocated by the pressures associated with just having to do this or that, because people tell you it's the right thing to do.

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Here are some fundamental lies and truths exposed (of so-called "modern living"):

1. Nobody knows shit. Really. If they tell you they know the way, they are bullshitting you. The way is for you to discover, and not for them to tell you what it is.

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2. You have to have a family, a great career, a house, the farm, the chicken, the ducks, the whole wackamazoo...to feel happy. Truth is, before you know it, you'll be swimming in a lot of chicken shit, and you will still not have discovered true happiness.

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3. Everybody has their weakest link - a point of insecurity by which you can pull them down. But then that would be an insult to humanity. It would be inhuman because it is the one aspect which connects all of us irrespective of how accomplished we are in life, how popular, or beautiful...we all have an Achilles heel. But instead of bringing the other person down, we have to cultivate an attitude of understanding. Did it sting? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to brush your wound. Understand and walk away, don't stand there allowing them to hurt you further, because an insecure person can also be a dangerous person, dangerous to your feelings that is.

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4. Everybody knows that deep inside of it all, they are empty. Remember The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger?:

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"I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. But I don't honestly know what kind.... It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in looking as if he might have played football in college. Then again, you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, 'It's a secret between he and I.' Or you may end up in some business office, throwing paper clips at the nearest stenographer. I just don't know."

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"This fall I think you're riding for - it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started."

~ Chapter 24, spoken by the character Mr. Antolini

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Why is everybody pretending so much? Do you know just how easy it is to tell somebody (it could even be the head of your country) - you are worthless, your life is worthless, and do you know just how quickly they would be prepared to believe you? There are so few among us who believe their life has this strong purpose and they were meant to do something incredible. Anything which you undertake to do solely for yourself (or your ego, to be more specific) or your progeny is bound to be an egotistical exercise which doesn't give you very much satisfaction at the end of sixty years of your life. So admit it, be honest to yourself, and say it with me - we are all completely worthless! The only worthy act in the world is to love, and to love completely - it is all we are useful for. We are all walking around with a vacuum, and instead of filling it up with junk, we can accept it as our natural phenomenon, and go on to do what we can do best - love.

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5. Do everything chronologically - be raised (conditioned) by your parents and teachers, educated by an ignorant society and by an even more ignorant formal educational system, find a job, have a family, have children, grow old, contract diabetes, you know the rest of the story. Well, it's all bullshit - don't you have a mind of your own? Did you ever think that it might be a good idea to do the thinking yourself? You know what society teaches you? It teaches you to be lazy. It teaches you, that if you do not break away from the mold, you will be punished. That is what you are conditioned with from childhood - you deviate, you will get slapped, you do something in a different manner, you're a freak...now it's time to set the records straight. All your life, you have been told what to do. What is the good thing, what is the right thing. At some point, if you truly think about it, you have to make a decision, to break away. Don't do what they tell you is good for you - do only what will really make you happy - the kind of happiness that comes from the deepest part of you - only you know what is truly good and right for you.

So have the courage...Fly!

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6. The best thing in life happens to you when you least plan for it. It comes from a place of borderless innocence and wide-eyed surprise.
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I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it.

~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 1

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Now I have to follow my own advice. For the first time in my life, I realise I'm an adult. My parents are not stopping me, society does not stop me. There are absolutely no barriers, and if there are any, they are only in my mind. For the first time in my life, I have to make the decisions myself, for myself. And it is so scary. The scariest thought on earth in fact. That I am completely responsible for my own upbringing and my choices from here on. I'm on my own. The real question is - what the heck do I do? Which is the way? This is my life, and there is no beaten path for me to follow. I have to chart my own course...draw my own map, and follow my own directions. Crazy, I wish I was better prepared for this moment. Dealing with uncertainty should be a habit, a way of life, instead it is something you think about only when you actually leave home...and some don't even get to that point where they have to think for themselves. We are so busy building our good fences that we never realise we are only trapping ourselves with the certainty wall we are so carefully building to protect ourselves.

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Come, my friends,

'T is not too late to seek a newer world.

Push off, and sitting well in order smite

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho

'We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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- Tennyson, Ulysses

Self-cencorship and the need to live

I believe that we are constantly censoring ourselves - we are our own Moral Police. Judging ourselves constantly, we correct ourselves before we even begin to speak a sentence. For how long can this last? For how long will we live like the donkey tied to a tree by an invisible rope, not believing itself to be free?

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I do it all the time. I will be the first to admit to being guilty of this crime. I want to live fully and stop censoring myself. It is a challenge when you are afraid that your "free living" might end up hurting someone in the process..

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We are asleep for as long as we belive in the illusion of this existence which covers eternal truth like a layer of clouds, and it is in this haze that we exist: we live, we breathe, we die. And our duty is to merely uncover it.

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Be warned: at some point you are bound to go mad. This is normal. You will question everything - from the meaning of your life, to the meaning of your soul and the universe, and everything and anything - and then you will become dull and enter insanity, it is bound to happen. But what you must not do is lose hope - because this hope is the instrument that will carry you through, above and beyond the darkness and then suddenly you will enter light, and you will be clear.

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All we can and must truly do to the best of our abilities, is to love. Completely!