Day 2 (Art Every Day Month)

The Elements

(This picture contains all that I want most in my life,
and it was hugely therapeutic to do, yay!)

IT IS ART-EVERY-DAY MONTH!!! First post for November:

Trinket detail

A Poyem named Ju jooo beee

that same old restlessness
that same old familiar feeling
where will you take me my friend?
on to newer shores, vaster lands?
where i will discover new friends?
what new and exciting tidings do you bring with you?
who do you wish to introduce to me now?
i know you exist, that space of vast unfamiliar
that space that lies between the known and unknown worlds
a grey area, an unknown area, but one that exists all the same
is that where you wish to take me?
here i am waiting, anticipating
heck, i am taking
i am taking this new journey with you
you are exciting, a fresh breath of familiar
a divine overseeing, a divine under taking
a place, a person, a poopoo
love, love, LOVE to you!!!

Some wisdom, even if you don't like it

We are acutely aware of our own humanity, but rarely of our divinity. What if we chose to pay more attention to the latter?

I have walked one way for a very long time. To change course does not take courage, it only takes willingness.

My first steps were preceded by the ones before them.

Pay attention, even to the smallest stillest voice that rises from the deepest depths of your silence.

Kindness can result from a mere change in perception.

A good idea can be worth more than all the dollars in the world.

A good bra can make you a better person.

*- more additions later -*

Cabbage soup

Cabbage soup, ladies and gentlemen, can be prepared in a number of ways. You can do it clear, or creamy. With or sans mushrooms. Vegetarian or non. Just a beautifully bland vegetable that lends itself to the soup bowl easily without a sliver of protest. All you need is a good knife, seasoning and some liquid. Anything else is entirely optional. Nature is truly a brilliant artist. How on earth did she manage to create every single thing that goes into a well stocked kitchen? How did she realise that we would need pepper and salt, because cabbage soup simply cannot do without either? I mean how?! How did she know that the French will convert us all to their exclusive religion? (Here I shall interject: anyone who disagrees with the brilliance of French cuisine is a heretic). Lead me unto the altar (stove) dear lord, and I shall obey your command (my stomach growls) willingly!!

Ok, confession time. I am addicted to chillies. There, I said it..the truth is out! Even though I am quite devoted to my faith, I do it no justice by killing my taste buds everyday with hot peppers. I can't help it. I've been on it since I was a kid, thanks to my Telugu heritage. It is a beautiful thing though. But I will save my ode to the mighty green pepper for another day.

So back to cabbage soup. Noodles give it that certain je ne sais quoi to it..a certain chewy consistency. I owe this knowing to one of my very good friends who herself is an addict to cabbage soup. She also adds egg to it, which is quite delightful on the tongue, but in appearance it ends up as sad white things floating about in the mixture. But. Who cares if it tastes good - the proof of the pudding is in the slurping after all!

I will try out a few recipes (particularly those of a French persuasion) and put up the pictures. I also had a great idea for a Chicken steak (can you say steak?) recently...avec sauce chocolat, sound delightful? I thought so. May be you get to see that too, as a bonus. Perhaps it will be the main course. Et pour le dessert? Hmm...I was thinking of using the left over musk melon in the fridge and create a fruit sorbet perhaps. I wonder if anyone has ever made musk melon sorbet before. I could be the first.

Ok darlings, a tout! Et...bon appetit!!

Life is for the living / Self absorbed crappiness

I am watching `Julie & Julia' and I am surprised that they actually mispronounced boeuf bourguignon. Incroyable!! You would think that they would have at least hired a few French speakers just to make sure.. especially when Meryl Streep is involved.

The movie (and I am just watching it) resonates with me. I too am at a time of my life when I am asking the question: really, what should I be doing?! Somehow, there is a part of me, a small voice that cries: I know you are going somewhere, and it is going to be reeealll goooddd..laughs (that little voice, inside).

Yeah. Real good. Some place nice, special, spectacular, great. In the movie, Julia's husband asks her: "what is it that you really like to do?". I asked myself the same thing, and of course the first answer was a bit..not that easy.

I chewed on it for a bit and the first thing - movies. And jewellery. Clothing. I love beautiful things, I cannot help it. I also love a good story. I always told ghost stories. Perhaps I should have been the first M.Night, but Shyamalan beat me to it. It's alright. Since he hasn't produced any big budget feature lately, I'm guessing the spot for supernatural superstar is still open. We'll see.

I used to like travelling until I realised how routine it can get. Leaning tower of Pisa? Check. Eiffel Tower? Check. The Empire State? Check. You get the idea...so travelling is out now. But films? Stories? Not out yet. I love telling stories. Especially when I get into the mood. I also love my time with friends, but how am I ever going to make that into a career unless I start a cool new restaurant/cafe or some other place to hang out at, that can't be made into an actual career. I even considered TV and the broadcasting business. But now my engine runs low for that. I can't be this big TV personality all the time. It can be very demanding, stressful and mad.

I'm even considering jewellery design, but not completely sure for now. I think something tells me: it's film, film, film. And music too. But that could go with the films I make. So yeah, film, film, ..

I am quite contemplative and think with a fair amount of clarity. But I cannot be a counsellor and listen to everyone's sob stories. It's too much. I tend to get involved and then it hurts.

I like: films, jewellery, clothing, friends, wine, cooking. In that order. A good film with a meal at a good party with friends is where it's at.

To be continued..

Music and Dance

Here are some simple songs you can sing and dance to, just because you gotta!! Note: done better in small or large groups, but please don't let that stop you from prancing around naked in your living room (with the curtains drawn, please). And remember to clap after each line - it adds some rhythm to the mix.

"Dance if you want to, sing if you must. The beat's gonna get you, one day it will have to!!!"

Another simple one: "You gotta do the huppa huppa huppa dance - high note" Chorus (people shout): HUPPA!!! You gotta do the huppa huppa dance - low note" HUPPA!!!

p.s. after I created this one, I looked up `huppa' and it means Jewish wedding canopy. neat huh?! The word actually means something!!

Stuff I like

http://www.imgspark.com/ (if you wish to create a `mood board')

http://www.colourlovers.com/ (create your own palettes!)

http://www.flushdesigns.com/ (wedding designs!)

http://www.oncewed.com/8384/wedding-blog/reception-tables/frida-table-trends-ii/ (a beautiful wedding)

http://www.colourlovers.com/wedding/blog/2010/03/29/fiesta-in-the-garden (more on the same wedding and a matching colour palette to go with it)

http://www.48hourslogo.com/ (if you want a logo designed for you in 48 hours or less! it's awesome)

http://bario-neal.com/bn/ (awesome jewellery)

http://www.suck.uk.com/ (some funky designer stuff)

http://www.colourlovers.com/blog/2007/08/24/color-inspiraton-from-coffee-and-tea

Everything

I want to have..

The kind of energy that makes you want to kiss a stranger.

The kind of love that makes you want to take on the whole world.

The kind of life that makes you want to thank God each day for.

The kind of people that makes you want to shed tears for.

The kind of family that makes you feel like you're resting here on earth.

random bubblings

cat: spider spit

(consumption of said creepy crawly occurred in bathroom today just as I was about to pee, and she saved my life by eating it, after I rushed out of course and ushered in the spidey terminator)

I don't want to be a part of your Universe, but you can be part of mine if you want to

do animal spirits produce mini ghosts that float about and can be captured via digital camera?

Alanis Morissette is my body double, just a cooler and (currently) richer version of me

let's fall in loooovee!!!

murder on the dance floor?! but why? how??

have you ever tried zooming in on insect life? the Universe is a pretty darned big place for those guys

sis is comin home today, yay! :D

This little itsy bitsy thing called life that is so small in comparison to the rest of this big damned universe

A new post, after a really long time. Can't believe we moved into our new place in September, and now it's February, and we have to move AGAIN!! House owners are crazy. We're now planning to buy our own place..this way we can stick our finger up at any lessor and say nnyaaahhh!!

So anyway, I was thinking...will I ever feel comfortable enough, confident enough, loving enough, sexy enough, successful enough, besty enough, you know what I mean?! Like me, but just at very peak performance..and some how it just seems like such a far unreachable goal. There's always something to improve, some insecurity to battle, something to make more perfect. Aahh..and some times it's just all very exhausting to be so great. Perhaps it's just a matter of accepting one's own perfectly ordinary ordinariness?! I mean even that seems unreachable. In fact, I've kept changing what perfect means to me, and now perfect just feels like a state of comfort with one's own being, self acceptance. But even that seems too difficult to achieve. Relaxing is difficult. Can you believe that?! Or am I just a nutcase. Tell me I'm a nutcase so it becomes easier to accept myself.

And now all I can do is vent this feeling, for now. On a blog, on the internet so random people know me better, what does that ever do for one's soul I wonder.

In fact, venting is all that seems to give me any sort of relief in a day. It's the only thing that keeps me sane - "to tell my story" (InterPlay style). And as often as I possibly can, yes I indulge in verbal diarrhoea every now and then and I drive my mom nuts. She has to put up with all my crap, but if she didn't, I don't know whom else I could possibly confide in. I hope she realises the responsibility I've piled up on her. Is this unfair?! I don't care for now because it helps me stay alive and stay sane. A therapist would probably tell me to have more people I can trust and confide in, so can he/she find me some more friends please?!

And then, on a different note, here's my song to my future soulmate lover person:

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )
You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )
You dig everything (you dig everything) of which I'm ashamed (of which I'm ashamed)
There's not anything (there's not anything) to which you can't relate (to which you can't relate)
And you're still here

(You see everything, you see every part)
And you're still here
(You see all my light and you love my dark)
And you're still here
(You dig everything of which I'm ashamed)
(There's not anything to which you can't relate)
And you're still here...

Sound familiar? It's a song called `Everything' by Alanis Morissette.

Cheers all

Some things

Poem
I must, I must, I must...
Yet, none of them feel right
None of them say to me:
I want, I want, I want!!

I know what I am wanting,
but looking at the wrong picture and sighing
Let me be with my dreams
Let me sleep here tonight,
And we will see what shall be in the morning

Perhaps I will not change
Perhaps I shall be swept away to some distant unknown land
Perhaps I shall be the same
Or perhaps, I will have a grin on my face
as I reach for the warm cookie in your hand :)

---
On dedication...

There is a difference between
creating for Source, and
creating for people.

One is like building a temple,
where you want to put in only the
most beautiful things for the
enjoyment of the Divine.

The other is where you do it
to meet the expectations of others,
and it never matches up.

Hence, dedicate this day,
your life, to the Divine, and
all will be well. All will be
magnificent. All will be
beautiful!

God Bless.
p.s. when I say "Divine" I mean...
That beautiful creative force that flows through you, when you feel "in the zone", when you feel happy doing what you are doing, Nature, God, Insane Orgasmic Bliss, Grace, Glory, Allah, whatever moves you, Joy!!!, perfection...you get it :)

SOA (State of Affairs) part 2

So we're here now. In the spanking new house, and I really love it here. My mother for some reason has upped her nagging quotient, and I'm desperately trying to stay under the radar. As if that is going to work; I cannot hide out in my room forever. Pups are doing well, I've taken full charge of their feeding, care-taking, love-giving, everything. I like doing that anyway, I worry less and less about their jealousy and all that, now if only I can keep these two from climbing me and licking and kissing and scratching me...Rusky (so the older one now has a name) tickled me by climbing up my back, can you believe it?! Gotta love em.

So I'm bearing my soul out to the whole world, and this blog still has zero readers/followers, how is this possible?! No clue. Anyway, why I do this I cannot imagine. Some part of me desperately wants to be seen and noticed - how lame of me, yet how completely human and honest. So I find nothing wrong with this. The day somebody actually posts a "comment", may be then I will think about pulling these posts down, hehe. Until then, naked-blog-running-loose-on-the-internet does not bother me so much.

What else, my room now has a very warm and cosy reading corner, complete with beautiful lavendar incense holders and all that. I feel privileged. Really. Not even all the money in the world can give me as much happiness as gently putting in all those precious books I've collected over the years into their respective shelves. So I have: 1) a new copy of The Prophet (because the old one got pissed on by my ex-kittens, which I've now replaced, complete with old underlinings and scribbles, because I thought I might have put in something golden), 2) Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather, 3) Love and Marriage by Bill Cosby, 3) Adrian Mole from Minor to Major (hilarious, I totally recommend this), 4) The Catcher in the Rye (don't judge me), 5) A Streetcar named Desire, 6) Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, 7) Siddhartha Hermann Hesse, 8) Richard Bach (Illusions and Jonathon Living..), 9) The Little Prince by Antoine (I have it in English, don't ask me why), 10) Stand Still Like the Hummingbird by Henry Miller (simply awesome), and many, many lovable others. I've read many of these books twice.

I now spend most of my time in this corner, along with my laptop, my beloved books (I have some "love stories" stashed away in this hide out as well, hehe), drawing notebook, sketch pens (I'm doing a colour study, and I've gotten as far as discovering the colour palette of Nice!)..how can a girl move her ass out of here when she's this settled?!! Who needs men, yawnn...

So it's 1:14 in the mornin, and me thinks its time to hit the cotton (who knows what they put in there anyway), but I don't feel ready for bed. These days my routine is partially liked by me, and partially disliked by both me and the rents: start day at 12 pm (I don't like this either btw, if I had it my way, I'd make the sun wake up a bit later, and I'd be just in time for beautiful dawn), drag on till night 10 pm when I become most active, and then suddenly I hit fifth gear which goes on till about 2 am. My favourite times of the day: dawn (wish I was up for it) and 4 pm. There is something magical about 4 pm, and I still can't put my whole finger on it. Its the colour of the sky at this time mostly that makes it likable, and the way the sun streams in through the windows.

Alrighty yall, all you ghost readers out there. Leave a comment to let me know what you think.

Love,
Divs

State of affairs

So yeahrrr...this post is just random ramblings really. Nothing great and mind-blowingly philosophical, none of that. Just random stupid stuff.

Ok, we're shifting house now, and the amount of small swallowable (wrong spelling?!) parts that we have just amazes me. How is it possible that four members of the family (plus or minus about 2-5 at any one moment) managed to collect so much of random shit over a period of 10 years?! honestly!!! its such a headache to sort out all the random papers, certificates, random random stupid things..ridiculous. I know one thing for sure, I build a house and I pretty much stay there. Put. That's it. No shifting wifting for me, and no accumulating random crap for me either. No sensible impulsive top of mind purchases any more. And if my kids want to buy random stupid plastic parts, I will make them degradable replicas out of wood of the same things. No kidding.

Ok so yeah, can you actually believe that romantic crazy me, who always was interested in a relationship, dreamed about the ideal "soulmate" for so often has finally stopped thinking about that?! I call this a victory, and honestly I would drink to that. If only I had 10 or so girlfriends (the gang I've always dreamed about but never had - cause I've always really had just one or two special, close friends, and they may be a guy or gay, doesn't matter), I would totally do this (drink to my victory I mean). I would drink to my getting over the endless worrying or fantasizing about this ideal guy. Ok.

Then. My puppies. I'm a little worried about them. I've already mothered so many people in my life (including my ex) that I feel like I have so much mothering experience that I don't even feel the need to have kids anymore. Really. One is a small crazy cute puggy looking thing, and the other is awesomeness incarnate. And awesomeness incarnate (cause we don't have a name yet)which is bigger (and older) is jealous of the smaller one. I thought - ok, the small one looks puggy and not more "attractive" (in the conventional sense) and was a little weaker so I paid more attention to it, and now the older one is suffering from self-esteem problems. Kids. What can you do. You try one parenting technique and then you skew them up forever. Shit. I hope they will turn out alright. Otherwise I will suffer from mother's guilt forever!!

So what else, what else. My face...strage canvas this. I've tried all kinds of things to bring it to that state of perfect complexion (not colour, I mean like smooth and nice, I don't know if there's any word for this), but it always beats me somehow. I've got combination skin, so products for oily skin make parts of my face too dry, and products that are for matte skin really stimulate my sebaceous glands. So yurghhh...its overall nice really, not complaining too much, but every now and then, I'm envious of good-skinned people. I am also envious of women with long legs, I hate them, but only a little bit. Other than that, I'm a girl who is pretty comfortable in her own body. Which I think is a gift in the times we live in. We live in times where our standards of beauty are pretty much fucked up (ok I don't want to really talk further about this).

My parents. I'm trying several childing techniques to be a better child, some are working, so that's good. I live with them, which makes it very weird for me because this is the time when I have to really be independent and really strike out on my own in the world, and at a time like this, there are bound to me many arguments, because I want somethings done my way, and they want it another way, and I totally understand, but I feel we'd all show a lot more love and respect to each other if I was doing my own thing and living by myself. What to do. I've told them that I'm going to live on the roof in my new house. They laughed. But I'm doing this partly for their sanity, and partly for mine. See how thoughtful I am.

So pups, new house, new living arrangement, hopefully better and better skin, a more comfortable me. I'm aging pretty gracefully I'd say. Loving life and its amazing contrasts. What can I say, I'm a lucky girl.

Cheers all.

The hidden connections

I am becoming better in handling my own emotions in the aftermath of a tough event. What used to take me a very long time to get over, is now becoming easier to sail above. Not only do I now have more strength in times of turbulence, but with time I begin to see hidden connections that were not obvious to me before, when I was in the thick of things. The Abraham-Hicks teachings have provided me a lot of strength and courage, and more importantly hope, for a new day and more enjoyable life moments. There is wisdom in all difficulties and contrasts; everything truly happens for a reason, if we only care to look.

After an event passes me by, it is as if a veil of ignorance (which did not allow me to see these connections before) is lifted and I begin to see `the why' of things. There are so many people in the world who are in pain because they are unable to isolate themselves from their grief and do not rise up and make "the connections" - if they were able to see them and exercise understanding and compassion both with themselves and others, so much suffering could be avoided and life would be more in alignment with Source which is truly about joy and energy and creativity. I hope every body can stretch themselves and make the leap for the joy that is always so inherent in every moment of this life on earth!

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
bright (bright) sunshiny day"
- Johnny Nash

This modern life

Our world is filled with ego-fuelled relics. Our world is full of ugly, grey/brown buildings. Our world is filled with traffic and smoke and people. Our world is polluted. Our world is toxic. Where are the birds and the animals?? I don´t see any anymore...Where have they all gone? I´m no longer entertained by this modern life. I am no longer entertained by glass covered architecture. I no longer see stability in our social structures. Everything is questionable. I am no longer entertained by television or movies. I am no longer entertained by discos or drinking. I am no longer entertained by populistic politics. I am no longer entertained by romance, the modern movie version of it. I am no longer entertained by fiction or reality. I am no longer entertained by the symbols that keep our society together..or apart.
b
I seek freedom. I thirst for flight. I seek nature and the sounds of birds and animals in the morning. I seek the fulfillment of dreams. I wish for energy from nature. I wish to build my own home with my own blood and sweat. I wish to till my own farm and reap the fruits of my harvest. I wish to be exposed to the vagaries of nature, and learn some true lessons of life. I wish to live like the red indian or the shaman, who only takes his lessons from the stillness he experiences within and outside. I am sick of our institutions, I am sick of the people and the games they play to win little favours. I wish to end this game to survive. Nature, my guru, my master. I wish to be united with thee.

The face of Pradeep is everywhere

When I was interning at Auroville, the Mitra guest house where I stayed at had a guy named Raj* who would rent cycles, bikes and mopeds to the guests staying there, and his assistant/mechanic named Pradeep*. Pradeep is probably not more than 18 years old - dark, extremely thin, and always in a pair of dirty trousers and a hand-me-down t-shirt. Uneducated and innocent, he was always extremely faithful and dedicated to Raj as well as Mitra's warden, Sita* - doing little chores around the guest house whenever he was asked. He was quite polite to all the guests at Mitra, and even grew attached to anyone who showed a little affection towards him.
b
When you are in India, you become used to a host of people looking after you - servants, cooks, drivers, watchmen, and the odd kid who runs to the grocery store for you at the drop of a hat. We take this "servant" culture for granted. It was a hand-me down from the Brits who began the `aaya' system in India. Why haven't we learnt to let go of it and take care of our own chores? Labour is extremely cheap in India, and there are people who are willing to take little pay for such physically demanding work.
b
I wasn't able to be as friendly to Pradeep initially - even being a little wary of this boy - having been unconsciously conditioned to be wary of people from "lower classes". Then a German friend of mine asked - "why don't you teach him English in your spare time? the poor thing has probably never been to school, and it might do him some good?!". That suddenly changed everything for me. Bhaskar always called me `akka' (older sister) - may be I could be a real akka for him and take him under my wing to teach him a thing or two? I was actually capable of changing this boy's world, even if it only temporarily?
b
How many such Pradeeps exist in India?! Their backs toiling at an age when they should be playing with children of their own age and studying in school. Illiterate, abandoned, bastard children to call no one their own?! Why can't these children be considered our own children and taken care of in the right way? Why are they allowed to rot on the streets?! They could be subject to the worst treatment - verbal, physical, sexual abuse, child labour - this unfair life is something they were unwittingly born into for no faults of their own. They are in need of a word beginning with j and ending with an e: JUSTICE.
b
* Names changed to protect identity

Become The Sun

The self contains the all illuminating brilliance of The Sun. We have but to look within to find all the glory, all the bliss that we seek every second of our being. This is our search. Our search for completion, for the feeling of ultimate fulfillment; ultimate happiness and salvation. And our answer lies closer than the breath we take.

b
Human beings constantly seek this fulfillment outside of themselves. In television, in a career, in a relationship, in the ultimate makeover, in husbands and mistresses, in Oprah, in Islam, in the Orthodox Christian Church, in Barrack Obama, in government, in misery, in children, in friends...the list is endless. Here is a quote of Aldous Huxley's: "One of the many reasons for the bewildering and tragic character of human existence is the fact that social organization is at once necessary and fatal. Men are forever creating such organizations for their own convenience and forever finding themselves the victims of their home-made monsters."
b
I don't intend to offend anyone's sincere quest for the truth here, but would merely like to quote once again a saying in Buddhism for those of you who still didn't get it: "if you see the Buddha, kill him!!!". What this merely means is that we cannot grow attached to anything in particular, however noble the path may be, because at a certain point we begin to identify more with this attachment than with the actual truth which resides within our being. As long as we use the tools of the outside world only as just that - tools to make us more aware of our inner truth - we are not in danger of losing our selves to them.
b
Desirelessness does not necessarily mean less sensitivity to the outside world, but rather, more of it. The truth unites every being in the universe, and it is impossible to remain unaffected by the miseries of the world we live in. Once we have discovered the inner truth, we begin to see it every where around us (even if it lies hidden beneath several layers!). And the more we begin to see it every where, the more we begin to be the drivers of positive change in the world we reside in. Now, quoting from Huxley's "Doors of Perception" essay:
b
Istigkeit - wasn't that the word Meister Eckhart liked to use? "Is-ness." The Being of Platonic philosophy - except that Plato seems to have made the enormous, the grotesque mistake of separating Being from becoming and identifying it with the mathematical abstraction of the Idea. He could never, poor fellow, have seen a bunch of flowers shining with their own inner light and all but quivering under the pressure of the significance with which they were charged; could never have perceived that what rose and iris and carnation so intensely signified was nothing more, and nothing less, than what they were - a transience that was yet eternal life, a perpetual perishing that was at the same time pure Being, a bundle of minute, unique particulars in which, by some unspeakable and yet self-evident paradox, was to be seen the divine source of all existence.
b
The cultivation of truth - for our soul is like a farm that needs to be tended to regularly - can begin with living a more authentic life. The soul always flows in the right direction - see where it takes you - often the best plans are the higher Divine plans that our conditioned brains can sometimes never even conceive of. In Buddhism, sitting meditation is often said to be the most effective way to discover the inner truth - Vipassana is an excellent technique recommended by the wise. In Hinduism, a treasure trove of techniques are said to exist - anything from Sanskrit texts/mantras to yoga, or even the Bhakti (devotional) or Jnana margas (path of wisdom). Reading the Zohar (Kabbalah) or following the Sufi way (by expressing love for the Divine), are all said to be (tried and tested) paths to the great Truth which often lay hidden from undeserving eyes.
b
My friend, seek not to collect moons, which are mere reflectors of light - Seek to become the one and only Sun which radiates luminosity in every direction. The path may not be completely facile, but the reward is eternal light, and with it, eternal fulfillment.

A poem (V Day special)

How can I express the depth
I find in our eyes
b
How can I express the meaning
in our distance
b
How can I express the bliss
in our convergence
b
How can I express
fully
everything I know
about every moment
when a circle comes into being

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A confused Country and a conditioned Soul; the state of affairs in India today

India has been at the helm of spiritual discovery for over five thousand years, long before many civilisations were yet to be born. And yet, today, the average Indian is not aware of even a single verse of The Upanisads. He/She is so occupied with the daily toil and trouble, and is blissfully unaware of the diamonds that lie beneath the physical surface of this great country. Our economists and policy makers are the most confused lot - unaware as to how they would be able to transform this heaving giant - leaking at her sides from unfixed sewers and the beads of sweat from the brows of labouring children. What kind of a curse is this, you may ask, that has put an entire country under a spell of ignorance?

All we are left with is the legacy of the old, the symbols of a glorious past - `Om's freely adorn our houses and tikas adorn our foreheads (said to be the doors of illumination), beautiful sacred geometric patterns decorate our courtyards, and Krsna is found to make his appearance more popularly on saris and as home furnishings than in the Bhagavad Gita. Daily existence is fueled by the need to survive, based on systems that barely coordinate. A typical life looks like this: baby -> gruelling school -> wasted college -> pointless I.T. job -> marriage and kids -> diabetes or high cholesterol related disease -> pointless death -> cycle continues through progeny. What makes the average Indian so bloody ignorant??!
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My appearance in this country is not any less of a mystery, and makes for a fascinating story. A country liberated from a western army is now in the throngs of hollywood films and is draped in denim fabric rather than khadi - our education has gone beyond `Convent' to the all exclusive `English-medium', as long as it delivers the necessary results. I myself was educated in an all English-speaking school. I would have to thank the stars that at least in my school we did not have a rule against speaking in our native language of Tamil (as some other schools did). Tamil is one of the oldest languages in the world, and is beginning to die in the hands of the present young generation, in the very state/province it first originated in. Middle and upper class Tamilians these days cannot talk Tamil without sprinkling a few English words in between!!
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I grew up on a steady diet of classical English literature and American poetry at school, and Archie comics, Nancy Drews, Enid Blytons, and (later) Hollywood movies and music from the Backstreet Boys, at home. Here was a girl, who had heard of the bravery of our `freedom fighters' more like a fantasy tale...patriotism was put into our heads more like an obligation, than as an understanding, waiting for the time when a generation grows older and does not find the need for it any longer (today Gandhi makes his appearance in Indian pop culture). My idealism stems more from literature I read written by American poets with liberal tendencies, than by the Indian freedom movement!
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We now are moved by Bollywood films and cricket more than by Bhakti movement poetry. This is the same land that was once home to Sufi saints and Hindu mystics alike. So many thousands embarked on the journey of their inner soul. So many awakened on the banks of the great Ganges that is now so polluted and choked with the toxic wastes of the present civilisation.
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Our solutions lie closer to the heart than we can ever imagine. Spirituality has to be brought into the Parliaments, and talked about with an ever increasing urgency and as the need of the hour. The solution for India does not lie in the western concepts of economic development. We have to seek higher solutions. Solutions that originate from a Divine mind, a Divine soul that is this country. We cannot expect to lay more roads and extinguish poverty. We need smaller communities, education within these communities, and an education that finds its foundations in spirituality and self-enquiry rather than on useless historical facts that are forgotten right after the students exit the exam halls. Solutions lay sprinkled in our past. The gurukula system, the smaller townships that were governed on a basis of Dharma, these are the symbols we need to adopt for today.

As for the individual...we cannot stop the influx of western materialism and idealogies, but we can instil in our young minds, the greater spiritual secrets that have been opened up and laid bare in the recent centuries. When a solid foundation is in place, it is difficult to shake it, in spite of any kind of external disturbances. We have to teach our children to follow their hearts and Divine guidance, rather than listen to people who talk from their selfish egos. We have to cultivate in them an independent attitude and the thirst for truth, rather than a conformist attitude and dependency on conventional thinking. This is the solution for the `modern' Indian society and today's `modern' Indian individual. Old is indeed Gold, but can be flexed to be adapted to provide solutions for the New.